Blue Christmas
by suitupbuttercup
Summary: Three days after Malcolm had been taken, the team discovers he had bought them all Christmas presents. It doesn't help them miss him any less.


They each found them on their desks, tucked in with the rest of their respective pieces of mail. It was obvious Malcolm hadn't wrapped them, himself; he had clearly paid someone to do a better (and much more festive) job than he ever would have. But that didn't matter. Not really.

Edrisa found hers first. It was, naturally, an incredibly thoughtful gift, based on a little seed of information about her she had thrown out once that Bright had picked up and tucked away into his pocket for later like a small boy collecting shiny stones.

It was a puzzle. A 1000-piece beauty that was clearly hand drawn by an artist. The pictures on it looked like they were taken straight from an anatomy book, then set ablaze with tremendous color by a talented artist. She loved it with her whole heart, and she burst into tears as soon as she got through the wrapping paper and saw what it was.

Who knows how long it would have taken the rest of the team to find theirs, had Edrisa not mentioned it. As soon as she did, they immediately went to their respective desks to check their own mail. It had been three days since Bright's disappearance on December 25th; whatever postage they had been missing out on in that time frame was literally the last thing on their minds. Until now.

JT's was the smallest, as far as size went; a maroon envelope sealed shut with gold-colored wax. It stood out like a sore thumb in his mail box amidst the standard white envelopes that had been accumulating. "Damn," he'd said to himself, running the pad of his thumb over the dried wax of the seal, "Even this dude's envelopes are rich." He had quieted, though, once he'd opened up the card and started reading what Malcolm had written inside with his neat, all-capitalized handwriting.

_JT,  
Sorry for crashing your date. The next one's on me._

_Merry Christmas! _

_MB_

_P.S. Justin? Jerico? Jeremiah?_

JT had to laugh, despite everything. Attached to the card was a $100 gift card to Amsterdam Billiards. He stared at it, unblinking, for several seconds before his eyes started to water from being open too long (mostly).

"Damn it, Bright," he muttered to himself as he closed the card. "Where you at, bro?"

x

There was a small black postage box waiting for Gil on his desk, hiding under a manila envelope. It was not the sort of small black box one would buy a woman; Gil knew was it was the moment he pulled it out from his mail pile and saw the company name stamped on the side in raised silver lettering. He stared at it for a moment, until it blurred together in his vision beneath a sheen of tears.

His fingers traced over the letters on the front of the box, and for a moment he allowed himself to just feel how smooth the cardboard was on the delivery box the gift had come in. He had to clench his jaw against the lump steadily climbing up his throat. Before he even made a move to open the box, he pulled back his right cuff, exposing the watch he wore on his wrist. Despite how worn and well loved it was, the watch was in excellent condition for being nearly fifteen years old. Especially considering that Gil literally wore it every day, to the point that he felt naked without it. It had held up marvelously over the years, which wasn't surprising, as it had likely been expensive. Just as expensive as the new one he was holding in his other hand.

Without warning, the memory came back, unbidden. He could recall it like it had taken place last week. Malcolm, no older than twelve, handing him a dark blue velvet box with a hand that shook so fiercely, Gil immediately moved to take it from the poor kid before he dropped it.

It hadn't been Father's Day, then. The Whitlys didn't celebrate Father's Day anymore. But it had been damn close to it, and Malcolm had thought to buy a gift for Gil. As a man with no biological children of his own, Gil had cherished this more than he ever could have put into words. He still wore the same watch to this day.

And Malcolm noticed. Obviously. Because Malcolm Bright noticed everything.

"You still have that watch I gave you," he had said, exactly 1.5 days into the investigation of the "copycat" Surgeon case, as he stared at Gil's wrist.

"Of course I do," Gil retorted. He was standing close enough to Bright at the time to reach out and give his shoulder a slight squeeze. "I wear it every day."

Malcolm had all but beamed at that. "Looks a little worn, though," he added, as his gaze drifted back down to the silver time piece on Gil's wrist.

Gil had shrugged. "It's well-loved," he said simply. Malcolm had frowned just slightly at that, clearly deep in thought.

And now he knew what Bright had been thinking about: a wardrobe update for Gil Arroyo.

Gil sucked in a breath, holding the air in his chest for a few seconds to help expel some of the fear that had taken up residence there. He wasn't afraid a new watch, obviously; unfortunately, he knew exactly what he was afraid of, and it was too terrible for words.

He was afraid he was holding the last piece of Malcolm Bright he was ever going to see.

(They all were afraid of that, deep down.)

The atrocity of that thought propelled him into action, and he started ripping open the little box's packaging tape. Inside was a hard, velvet case, just like the one a much younger Malcolm had first presented to Gil all those years ago. The watch inside was magnificent. It was all black, even its face, and incredibly sleek. Clearly this time, Malcolm was going for an updated, modern look for him. Gil loved it. There was a small, folded card inside, and Gil pried it open with hands that had gone numb. He recognized Malcolm's handwriting instantly. It was simple, sweet, and to the point.

_Merry Christmas, Gil!_  
_Thank you-for everything._

_Love,_

_Bright _

Seeing the words in Malcolm's handwriting was what finally put him over the edge. It had been three long days of fruitless searching for their profiler; they were all exhausted, and none more so than Gil. He reached up and pinched the bridge of his nose, not even bothering to keep the tears at bay anymore.

"Thanks, bud," he whispered to an empty room when he could finally find his voice again. "I love it."

x

By the time Dani found out Bright had all gotten them Christmas gifts and had them sent to the station, she was exhausted. Just at the end of her rope mentally, physically, and emotionally. When Edrisa came up to her in tears, shaking a box in her face, Dani nearly lost it on her. Until he heard what she was saying.

"He got us _gifts_," Edrisa squeaked out.

Dani felt the blood rush out of her face. She had a good idea who the 'he' in question was, but still had to ask, "Who...?"

"Bright!" Edrisa said. "Bright got us all Christmas presents. Incredibly thoughtful, probably expensive presents." Her lower lip wobbled, and she looked like she was going to start crying again. "I didn't get him anything. I thought about it! But then we just got so busy with the case load and... and..." She trailed off.

"And then Bright went missing on Christmas," Dani finished for her, deadpanning. Edrisa nodded, sniffing once. Dani looked down at the box in Edrisa's hands, studying it. "He got you a puzzle?"

Edrisa nodded vigorously again and offered up the box to Dani, who took it gingerly, like it was something to be cherished.

"It's gorgeous," Dani said genuinely.

"I know," Edrisa agreed, "I'm scared to even open it. Like I'm going to ruin it somehow just by touching it. But I thought I could get started on it tonight... Maybe have it done by the time you find him, you know?"

Dani's heart surged at the words _by the time you find him_, and she ground her teeth together at the familiar tightness in her jaw that meant she was definitely close to crying. Edrisa didn't seem to notice; she was staring at her puzzle box. Dani placed it back in her arms gently, and Edrisa hugged it to her chest. The pieces inside all fell to the bottom of the box with a soft swish.

"We'll find him," Dani said simply. _We have to._

Edrisa gave her a watery smile and nodded. "Hopefully before I even have the chance to finish this beast."

Dani returned her smile. "So," she started, eager to turn the subject away from the fact that Bright was still missing. "You said he mailed it?"

"Oh, right. Yes," Edrisa said, "Apparently he mailed them all to the station. Which is kind of silly, but he must have just paid to have everything wrapped, and then he probably didn't know our addresses, so... They were just here, waiting for us. Since Christmas."

Dani swallowed. Part of her almost wished Bright had forgotten about hers, that he had sent something to everyone else but her. But the thought was a wasted one; Bright would never forget about her.

Dani's gift was a fairly large box, about the size of two shoeboxes lined up side by side. There was no way she could have avoided seeing it, once she got back to her desk. (Had it really been that long since she'd been back at her desk, away from the search for him?)

She stared at it for a few moments, willing herself to keep calm, before she took out her pocket knife to cut through the box's tape. Dani didn't really do Christmas presents; with her immediate family, sure, but she couldn't remember the last time she had either given or received a gift from a friend. Even the team-Gil, JT, and Edrisa-usually only went out for a drink, rotating who would pay the tab, for holidays or birthdays. Gifts were not her forte. This was foreign territory, and it left her on edge.

She could almost feel Bright watching her, those brilliant eyes of his staring at her hopefully, like he so wanted her to love whatever it was he had picked out for her.

Inside the package, after she removed a fair amount of bubble wrap and colored tissue paper, was a large wooden box. The moment she read the scripted letters burned into the top of the it, she knew exactly what she'd find inside, and she huffed out a shaky breath. As soon as she opened it, she knew she was right; the smell wafted up from the contents of the box, despite the fact that they were vacuum sealed, and it hit her like a punch in the gut.

_I love Earl Grey. _

She could hear his soft laugh, his words back to her.  
_"I know. It's the aroma, isn't it?" _

She was staring down at a beautiful box of British-imported loose leaf Earl Grey tea. Included was a small metal tea strainer, and little wrapped bags of spices and citrus peels, all individually wrapped and sectioned off into their own little spots in the box lined with velvet. In the center was a burgundy tin, and Dani smiled as soon as she read what it housed.

For someone whose tea-drinking habits involved microwaving water and using whatever brand of bagged tea was cheapest, the custom-built box before her was intimidating. And somehow, Bright knew it would be. (Because of course he did.) Inside the tin in the middle were fifty already-assembled tea bags of Earl Grey from the same gourmet ingredients, ready to be slipped into hot water without hassle and enjoyed immediately.

_With friends. _

It was one of the very best gifts she had ever been given in her life. And she felt a renewed hatred for Paul Lazar that Malcolm wasn't there to share it with her.  
She reached down and pulled the tin out from the box. It popped open easily, and she was overtaken by that delightful smell again. She breathed it in for a few moments, until her nose grew used to it and the smell wasn't nearly as potent to her.

Eventually, she removed the entire wooden box from its packaging, and that's when she found the card. It was a plain, folded card, red on the outside, blank on the inside, save for Malcolm's writing. He had written a simple enough message-just wishes for a merry Christmas and a happy new year, but the way he had signed it made the breath halt in her chest.

_Your friend, _

_Malcolm Bright _

"God, Bright," she murmured, grinding her teeth again as she willed herself not to cry. But it was a fight she soon gave in to. What was the use? They had been searching for him for days, pouring everything they had into finding some kind of lead on where he had been taken, all to have nothing turn up. And then he'd gone and gotten her a damn thoughtful gift for a holiday he had been kidnapped on. It was all too much.

So Dani let herself cry for a few minutes. When it was over, she felt better and worse at the same time. She closed the lid of the wooden tea box and tucked it into the biggest drawer of her desk. The little card from Bright she taped, open, on the side of her computer monitor; she would see it each and every time she sat down at her desk.

And she vowed she wasn't going to be drinking any tea at all until she found him, until he could sit and have a cup with her, himself.


End file.
